how to stay sane (Repost from September 2012)
we all not need to be lectured, our ego says.
apart from this little fact that we're tired of being told, or being faced to facts we're not ready to see. I, for one, still have to get up early and make lecture right at 7 in the morning. get home before noon, catching up from absorbing tremendous amount of facts that has been delivered nonstop from a week ago.
the air is still for adjustments, re-adapting to new culture and environment. Big city is not an easy place to live and fit in, and I think, as a former exchange student, I know rather well, what it takes to make that adaptation work.
This time, I had to make that hard decision, what kind of circle I have to pick. what kind of people I need to avoid. I dont need a professor degree to point out that somehow human does have that wall that makes us separate from one another. but can I make my heart and go for what decision I need to make? and I know this time I'd be better hurry.
caught a disease, not another great time for slowing down pace. I need to go back to college environment with bigger urge to catch up with other, it's hard enough to stay on a line without illness, but I know it is something you cant foresee that well earlier. where can I find that much motivation and get rid of that unnecessary neediness? inside, my heart tells me.
how to stay sane? when you're lonely not because you're the only person who exists, but because there is no one who seems to share thoughts with you, and even worse, what if it's because you are the one who choose to be lonely and be sorrowful.
you're old enough to know, that you cant wait for someone to come cheer you up, sometimes it is for a fact that you better work things out for your own. it's a fact that you're mostly on your own. how to stay reliable?
life is hard enough without philosophical conflict you need to solve, that you know you have to rediscover your own belief systems, your ethics, values. your religion.
people often not dare ask this sensitive issue, and it is very sensitive. I still have to put back all the little courage I have left, to challenge my belief system back again, and attack my crippled reasoning to seek God with better understanding, and clearer meaning.
I found it as a joke, at OSKM 2012 I was told to define my vision in life, in such a short time, we all know that's a shit. I was told specifically to put the principle of faith in God (ketuhanan) and responsible freedom (kebebasan yang bertanggung jawab) whatever that terms may mean and affects me, i cant be told to adopt these ideas. I still have to come up with my own reason, do I have time to find it? do I have the privilege to rediscover myself and bring me up to a higher level? I better believe I do
cant people simply be nice to another, and dont be fake, dont start any drama, dont talk at people's back all the time? am I the only one fed up with this societal drama. it's even worse than sinetron.
I believe however that there are tons of people who have similar thoughts I do, that i know I can touch deep at their hearts and together pursue our best self, our ultimate self.
I believe that although this world is cold, I can sense warmness deep inside every people eyes . I believe that God do exists, though I cant reason it out why it has to, but I guess i'd just say for now that it's faith.
all these paragraph is an attempt to describe who I am, at a deeper level. I am a freshman at a technological Institute, although numbers make me mad. I am not desperate, I am anxious, anxious of world's problem, of this degrading moral phenomena and all that. I am not that clueless, I am preparing myself slowly. I run at my own pace. I am not at my end, I am just at my beginning. I am ready to ignite!
apart from this little fact that we're tired of being told, or being faced to facts we're not ready to see. I, for one, still have to get up early and make lecture right at 7 in the morning. get home before noon, catching up from absorbing tremendous amount of facts that has been delivered nonstop from a week ago.
the air is still for adjustments, re-adapting to new culture and environment. Big city is not an easy place to live and fit in, and I think, as a former exchange student, I know rather well, what it takes to make that adaptation work.
This time, I had to make that hard decision, what kind of circle I have to pick. what kind of people I need to avoid. I dont need a professor degree to point out that somehow human does have that wall that makes us separate from one another. but can I make my heart and go for what decision I need to make? and I know this time I'd be better hurry.
caught a disease, not another great time for slowing down pace. I need to go back to college environment with bigger urge to catch up with other, it's hard enough to stay on a line without illness, but I know it is something you cant foresee that well earlier. where can I find that much motivation and get rid of that unnecessary neediness? inside, my heart tells me.
how to stay sane? when you're lonely not because you're the only person who exists, but because there is no one who seems to share thoughts with you, and even worse, what if it's because you are the one who choose to be lonely and be sorrowful.
you're old enough to know, that you cant wait for someone to come cheer you up, sometimes it is for a fact that you better work things out for your own. it's a fact that you're mostly on your own. how to stay reliable?
life is hard enough without philosophical conflict you need to solve, that you know you have to rediscover your own belief systems, your ethics, values. your religion.
people often not dare ask this sensitive issue, and it is very sensitive. I still have to put back all the little courage I have left, to challenge my belief system back again, and attack my crippled reasoning to seek God with better understanding, and clearer meaning.
I found it as a joke, at OSKM 2012 I was told to define my vision in life, in such a short time, we all know that's a shit. I was told specifically to put the principle of faith in God (ketuhanan) and responsible freedom (kebebasan yang bertanggung jawab) whatever that terms may mean and affects me, i cant be told to adopt these ideas. I still have to come up with my own reason, do I have time to find it? do I have the privilege to rediscover myself and bring me up to a higher level? I better believe I do
cant people simply be nice to another, and dont be fake, dont start any drama, dont talk at people's back all the time? am I the only one fed up with this societal drama. it's even worse than sinetron.
I believe however that there are tons of people who have similar thoughts I do, that i know I can touch deep at their hearts and together pursue our best self, our ultimate self.
I believe that although this world is cold, I can sense warmness deep inside every people eyes . I believe that God do exists, though I cant reason it out why it has to, but I guess i'd just say for now that it's faith.
all these paragraph is an attempt to describe who I am, at a deeper level. I am a freshman at a technological Institute, although numbers make me mad. I am not desperate, I am anxious, anxious of world's problem, of this degrading moral phenomena and all that. I am not that clueless, I am preparing myself slowly. I run at my own pace. I am not at my end, I am just at my beginning. I am ready to ignite!
Semangat luthfiii :D
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